Good Habits —Catch ‘em Young

Habits define a person’s character more than his nature. Nature is something you are born with and cannot alter. Habits can be learnt, unlearnt and honed to enable us to live a fulfilling life. But, like it is said, “Old Habits Die Hard”; it makes perfect sense to learn the most positive social habits while the mind is still easily malleable and can make a routine of them. The sooner good habits are inculcated, the better the chances of their being practised with ease.

Every repetitive action takes the form of a habit; habits become the norm and define a person. When we sow positive actions, we reap good habits. Every day we hear people complaining about the loss of etiquette in children – it is not the children’s fault; it calls for introspection.

Parenting methods need to be adapted to changing times and need to reinforce social habits that will help kids lead a better life.  Once kids grow up with a certain set of habits, it becomes very difficult for them to change. The best time to ingrain good social habits is childhood, when the mind is impressionable and the child learns what he is taught, with ease.

Making an effort to guide children regarding polite behaviour and good manners on an everyday basis will ensure that they are liked by all and well-adjusted socially. It will boost their confidence and help them grow up to be perfect gentlemen or ladies.

Following are ten habits to be impressed upon young children to ensure they are stamped into their personality when they grow up

1. Saying the magic words; Thank You, Sorry and Please — As inconsequential as these three words may sound, the magical effect that they have on the people around you cannot be undermined. Starting with saying ‘thanks’ for receiving toffees, ‘sorry’ for being rude and ‘please’ to ask for a toy, it becomes a hardwired habit that encourages saying ‘thanks’ for being guided at the workplace, ‘sorry’ when you hurt someone’s feelings and ‘please’ when you want a day off. It works like a charm and guarantees amazing results.  Loved the cake your friend baked and want to have it more often; try sending a thank you note after the party. Old-fashioned, but very effective.

2. Learning to empathise — The poor, the weak, the disabled or the downtrodden, don’t need your sympathy. They need your understanding and empathy.  When young children make fun of or are disgusted by people who are different, it is the responsibility of the parents to see to it that they are made to understand what makes them so. Ignoring their reaction or joining in with them in their inappropriate behaviour only reinforces such behaviour as acceptable, leaving them with a lifelong prejudice against such people.

3. Nurturing health — The world has taken to a culture of eating out like never before and this brings with it a host of health related problems. While eating out may not be entirely avoidable, teaching children the importance of healthy food, balanced diet and exercising certainly helps. Establishing the value of a healthy body is imperative as only then will they be able to lead healthy lives. Kids who have seen their parents exercising, been doing it with them and have seen the thought that goes into preparing a well-balanced meal, will be able to implement such a lifestyle more easily when they grow up.

4. Reading and being well informed — As soon as a child can read on his own, stress the importance of reading; be it books, newspapers, magazines or even educational websites (do ensure child’s safety on the net). When they get a positive feedback from other children and teachers, they will be encouraged to do it more often, forming a habit that will take them places.

5. Valuing privacy — Adults who open every shopping bag or diary in sight at someone else’s place, make other people wary of inviting them over. Parents have to tell children that it is unacceptable to access other people’s bags, notebooks, wardrobes or other items of personal use without their permission.  Even when they are curious, remind them that it is better to ask and if the other person refuses to share the information or contents, they should respect their wishes.

6. Importance of being punctual — People who are habitually late don’t impress anyone. Showing consideration for other people’s time and being punctual is always a good start.  When children take your time for granted, they should be taught that everyone has the same number of hours in the day and some people accomplish much more than others. This is because they manage their time well. If you disregard time, you waste not only your own but also everyone else’s time and run the risk of being a social outcast; for people dread having to delay plans every time for the same person.

7. Refraining from use of foul language — Calling people names will not make you a smarter person. It just shows you in poor light, even if the other person is in the wrong. Discouraging children from using foul language, by setting an example, will help them in the long run. They will be able to assert themselves without making themselves look uncivilized.

8. Spending wisely — Money may not be able to buy everything, but it can certainly achieve a lot in today’s material world. So, having due respect for such a powerful medium is very important.  Letting children make small monetary decisions makes them realise its importance early on. Have them save money in a piggy bank to buy something they fancy — a priceless lesson in investment and saving.

9. Learning to be happy — When your happiness depends on someone else, you can never be truly happy. Measure success in life with your own parameters and not according to what others think is important to make one happy. A successful person may not be happy but a happy person is successful in living life to its fullest. Children who come from families that spend time together and enjoy, are more likely to be happy and contented as adults; a lesson that goes a long way in ensuring a fruitful life.

10. Respecting age and authority — Parents should teach their kids to respect people in authority, such as policemen, government officials and teachers. Also, they must be told that the elderly should always be helped and treated with regard. When such habits are formed at an early age, they come to them naturally, even when they are adults.

There are many more things that the children could be taught and these are just a few instances. But when the basic fibre is strong enough, other aspects that form the character of a person develop to be equally positive, naturally. In fact, it is extremely difficult to be rude to someone who is being polite; even when you are having a disagreement. A well mannered person, with good habits, inspires good behaviour around him.

When we start young there is a better chance that being nice comes effortlessly.